Return to the Methods of Rationality Omakes (And others too)
by Wesnprogamat
Summary: Less Wrong wrote Methods of Rationality. He also posted several Omakes in one of his chapters of different stories. While they seemed to comply with his mind set, I realized they weren't complete. Here are some ideas of how they should end, plus others if given. Rated T because I that is the highest rating I will accept the finishing of an Omake from reviewers and PMers.


I appreciated the alternate ideas of Less Wrong's Methods of Rationality.

But as I looked back, especially on the omakes, I started to realize, that they weren't complete...

Not only weren't they complete, some of them had really different but likely endings, that they implied, even though the story foundation was solid enough...

So, for those that were thought to be clearly complete in this omake series (and not just snippets of a complete work), and yet go awry I present...

From Less Wrong's 'Method of Rationality' and my refutation ideas (Though someone probably already thought of these refutations or completions or whatever)-

"...

And now, with all universes owned by their respective creators, and none by me, I present From Less Wrong's Methods of Rationality (And whomever else, because I am just guessing Less was the one to write these):

* * *

 **OMAKE FILES #4:**

 **THE OTHER FANFICTIONS  
YOU COULD'VE BEEN READING**

* * *

LORD OF THE RATIONALITY

Frodo glanced at all the faces, but they were not turned to him. All the Council sat with downcast eyes, as if in deep thought. A great dread fell on him, as if he was awaiting the pronouncement of some doom that he had long foreseen and vainly hoped might after all never be spoken. An overwhelming longing to rest and remain at peace by Bilbo's side in Rivendell filled all his heart. At last with an effort he spoke, and wondered to hear his own words, as if some other will was using his small voice.

"We cannot," said Frodo. "We must not. Do you not see? It is exactly what the Enemy desires. All of this he has foreseen."

The faces turned to him, puzzled the Dwarves and grave the Elves; sternness in the eyes of the Men; and so keen the gazes of Elrond and of Gandalf that Frodo almost could not withstand it. It was very hard, then, not to grasp the Ring in his hand, and harder still not to put it on, to face them as only Frodo.

"Do you not question it?" Frodo said, thin like the wind his voice, and wavering like a breeze. "You have chosen, of all things, to send the Ring into Mordor; should you not wonder? How did it come to this? That we might, of all our choices, do that single thing our Enemy most desires? Perhaps the Cracks of Doom are already guarded, strongly enough to hold off Gandalf and Elrond and Glorfindel all together; or perhaps the Master of that place has cooled the lava there, set it to trap the Ring so that he may simply bring it out after it is thrown in..." A memory of awful clarity came over Frodo then, and a flash of black laughter, and the thought came to him that it was _just_ what the Enemy would do. Only the thought came to him so: _thus it would amuse me to do, if I meant to rule..._

There were doubtful glances exchanged within the council; Glóin and Gimli and Boromir were now looking at the Elves more skeptically than before, like they had awoken out of a dream of words.

"The Enemy is very wise," said Gandalf, "and weighs all things to a nicety in the scales of his malice. But the only measure that he knows is desire, desire for power; and so he judges all hearts. Into his heart the thought will not enter that any will refuse it, that having the Ring we may seek to destroy it -"

"He _will_ think of it!" cried Frodo. He struggled for words, trying to convey things that had once seemed perfect in his comprehension, and then faded like melting snow. "If the Enemy thought that all his foes were moved by desire for power alone - he would guess wrongly, over and over, and the Maker of this Ring would _see_ that, he would _know_ that somewhere he had made a mistake!" Frodo's hands stretched forth pleadingly.

Boromir stirred, and his voice was doubtful. "You speak fair of the Enemy," said Boromir, "for one of his foes."

Frodo's mouth opened and shut in desperate bewilderment; for Frodo knew, he knew the Man was mad, but he could think of nothing to say.

Then Bilbo spoke, and his withered voice silenced the whole room, even Elrond who had been about to speak. "Frodo is right, I fear," whispered the old hobbit. "I remember, I remember what it was like. To see with the Black Sight. I remember. The Enemy will think that we might not trust one another, that the weaker among us will propose to destroy the Ring so that the stronger may not have it. He knows that even one not truly good might still cry to destroy the Ring, to make a show of pretended goodness. And the Enemy will _not_ think it impossible that such a decision be made by this council, for you see, he does not trust us to be wise." A whispering chuckle rose from the ancient hobbit's throat. "And if he did - why, he would _still_ guard the Cracks of Doom. It would cost him little."

Now foreboding was on the faces even of the Elves, and the Wise; Elrond had frowned, and the sharp eyebrows of Gandalf furrowed.

Frodo gazed at them all, feeling a wildness come over him, a despair; and as his heart weakened a shadow came over his vision, a darkness and a wavering. From within the shadow Frodo saw Gandalf, and the wizard's strength was revealed as weakness, and his wisdom folly. For Frodo knew, as the Ring seemed to drag and weigh on his breast, that Gandalf had not thought at all of history and lore, when the wizard spoke of how the Enemy would not understand any desire save power; that Gandalf had not remembered how Sauron had cast down and corrupted the Men of Númenor in the days of their glory. Just as it had not occurred to Gandalf that the Enemy might learn to comprehend foes of goodwill by _looking..._

Frodo's gaze swung to Elrond, but there was no hope there, no answer and no rescue in the shadowy vision; for Elrond had let Isildur go, carrying the Ring from the Cracks of Doom where it should have been destroyed, to the cost of all this war. Not for Isildur's own sake, not for friendship had it been done, for the Ring had killed Isildur in the end, and far worse fates could have followed him. But the Doom that had stemmed from Isildur's deed would have seemed unsure to Elrond then, unsure and distant in time; and yet the cost to Elrond himself of taking his sword's pommel to the back of Isildur's head would have been surer, and nearer...

As though in desperation, Frodo turned to look at Aragorn, the weathered man who had donned his travel-worn clothes for this council, the heir of kings who spoke softly to hobbits. But Frodo's vision seemed to double, and in the shadowy second image Frodo saw a Man who had spent too much of his youth among Elves, who had learned to wear humble and stained clothes amid the gold and jewels, knowing he could not match them wisdom for wisdom, and hoping to outplay them in a fashion they would not emulate...

In the sight of the Ring, which was the sight of the Ring's own Maker, all noble things faded into stratagems and lies, a world of grey and darkness without any light. They had not made their choices knowingly, Gandalf or Elrond or Aragorn; the impulses had come from the dark hidden parts of themselves, the black secret depths which the Ring had rendered plain in Frodo's vision. Would they outthink the Shadow, when they could not comprehend even their own selves, or the forces that moved them?

"Frodo!" came the sharp whisper of Bilbo's voice, and Frodo came to himself, and halted his hand reaching up toward where the Ring lay on his breast, on its chain, dragging like a vast stone around his neck.

Reaching up to grasp the Ring wherein all answers lay.

"How did you bear this thing?" Frodo whispered to Bilbo, as if the two of them were the only souls in the room, though all the Council watched them. "For years? I cannot imagine it."

"I kept it locked in a room to which only Gandalf had the key," said his uncle, "and when I began to imagine ways to open it, I remembered Gollum."

A shudder went through Frodo, remembering the tales. The horror of the Misty Mountains, thinking, always thinking in the dark; ruling the goblins from the shadows and filling the tunnels with traps; but for Bilbo wearing the ring that first time not a single dwarf would have lived. And now, Legolas the Elf had told them, Gollum had given up on sending his agents against the Shire, had at last found the courage to leave his mountains and seek the Ring himself. That was Gollum, the fate which Frodo would share himself, if the Ring were not destroyed.

Only they had no way to destroy the Ring.

The Shadow had foreseen every move they could make. Had _almost_ \- Frodo still could not imagine how it had been done, how the Shadow had arranged such a thing - had _almost_ maneuvered the Council into sending the Ring straight into Mordor with only a tiny guard set on it, as they would have done if Frodo and Bilbo had not been there.

And having foregone that swiftest of all possible defeats, the only question remaining was how long it would take to lose. Gandalf had delayed too long, delayed far too long to set this march in motion. It could have been so easy, if only Bilbo had set out eighty years earlier, if only Bilbo had been told what Gandalf had already suspected, if only Gandalf's heart had not silently flinched away from the prospect of being embarrassingly wrong...

Frodo's hand spasmed on his breast; without thought, his fingers began to rise again toward the vast weight of the chain on which the Ring hung.

All he had to do was put on the Ring.

Just that, and all would become clear to him, once more the slowness and mud would leave his thoughts, all possibilities and futures transparent to him, he would see through the Shadow's plans and devise an irresistible counterstroke -

\- and he would never be able to take off the Ring, not again, not by any will that would be left to him. All Frodo had of those moments were fading memories, but he knew that it had felt like dying, to let all his towers of thought collapse and become only Frodo once more. It had felt like dying, he remembered that much of Weathertop even if he remembered little else. And if he did wear the Ring again, it would be better to die with it on his finger, to end his life while he was still himself; for Frodo knew that he could not withstand the effects of wearing the Ring a second time, not afterward when the limitless clarity was lost to him...

Frodo looked around the Council, at the poor lost leaderless Wise, and he knew they could not defeat the Shadow by their own strength.

"I will wear it one last time," Frodo said, his voice broken and failing, as he had known from the beginning that he would say in the end, "one last time to find the answer for this Council, and then there will be other hobbits."

" _No!_ " screamed the voice of Sam, as the other hobbit began to rush forward from where he had hidden; even as Frodo, with movement as swift and precise as a Nazgûl, took out the Ring from beneath his shirt; and somehow Bilbo was already standing there and had already thrust his finger through.

It all happened before even Gandalf's staff could point, before Aragorn could level the hilt-shard of his sword; the Dwarves shouted in shock, and the Elves were dismayed.

"Of course," said Bilbo's voice, as Frodo began to weep, "I see it now, I understand everything at last. Listen, listen and swiftly, here is what you must do -"

_Refutation Break_

And let's continue this story as it would likely continue...

So, Bilbo finally convinced them to follow his plan. As it was almost complete, somehow it went wrong...

"Why," cried Bilbo. "What went wrong? I had accounted for everything, including how you thought! Why?"

Sauron laughed as he picked up the ring.

 **"You thought you had. There was one little detail you had missed. You see, you were right. If I thought about stopping their plan, it wouldn't likely succeed.  
**

 **Any plan which the Council had enacted, would have likely worked, if I didn't know about it. Even them going off in a small party and splitting up would have had a better chance, had you not picked up the ring right then. Actually, it probably WOULD have worked. They wouldn't necessarily need to even go to Mordor, just find a ready source of hot enough lava. If they had thought about it, they may even have called the lava to them. I knew what would happen if I cooled ALL the lava of Middle earth. Yes, I did try cooling my forge. Unfortunately, no matter how many I sent, they just didn't affect its temperature all that much. And remember, at the time that I died, I had no reason to think that I would die. The ring might have needed to be repaired after all. It was only a lucky swing with a broken sword that removed the ring.  
**

 **Then I was only a shell of myself. I could order, look around and maintain the magics I had already cast, but that was it. And, yes I did order them to fortify my forge when it looked like it wouldn't cool. Unfortunately I was dealing with a volatile volcano and mostly stupid grunts. That meant that the fortifications usually didn't last long.**

 **But then, you decided you needed to see how I thought, that if you knew that, you could plan for it. You failed to realize that if the ring would give you a glimpse of how I think, why shouldn't it be a two-way street? Most connections are, you know. If you were as or smarter than me, you wouldn't have needed to use the ring in the first place."**

* * *

Lord of the Rationality notes:

First off, if you begin by assuming that the ring provides an effective "mental high," and putting on said ring would improve your mental capacity to Sauron's, you would do better to assume that it shouldn't unless it HAS his mental thought processes in it to begin with. I do grant that he would have put safeguards in the situations Bilbo said. But, to raise your capacity and thought processes to Sauron's most strongly implies that it, and by extension Sauron, can access your thought processes.

Second, the ring is compared to an addictive substance. All pain relieving (and probably brain stimulant) addictions have as part of the drug leaving the system, the worsening of the problem the drug solved. This means that if they had 'taken' the substance before, it would have had less effect than the first time. Even in this time it was explicitly stated that Bilbo had put on the ring before. So, Bilbo who wore the ring before, would have seen less than if he were looking the first time, and Sauron would have an even better chance to read Bilbo.

Third, it is implied that Bilbo never took the ring off. This (if true), is even worse. The ring would give less power to Bilbo as time went on, and any chance that Sauron missed any detail of the plan would be reduced to 0, if (as I assume) the ring did transfer information back to Sauron. This is no longer, accidentally telling the general gist, but explaining in detail every single detail that could possibly be related to said plan. With that abundance of information, plus the diminishing effect would guarantee the plans total failure.

With those two (or three if the third was applicable), it becomes remarkably clear, that in this situation if Bilbo, was the one to make the plan, it would more likely fail than Gandalf's original plan. Now, the best plan likely would have been Gandalf putting on the ring, just long enough to gather the information, and then take it off, and sort through the information to make a plan, but as I remember, Gandalf was smart enough not to. It seems like foolishness, but it was actually wisdom. This meant that if Gandalf's plan (who had never put on the ring) had been enacted, while all of what Bilbo and Frodo had said might have been true, in the case of his plotting, Sauron wouldn't know, and therefore, would have trouble predicting which of the many viable paths they would take. It is one thing, to have a ring which whispers and urges those on to the plans that would fail. This is only mostly successful. It is a totally different thing to tell him yourself what plan you would do, albeit unintentionally. Then he could take steps specifically to counter said plan.

* * *

THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE

With a critical eye, Peter looked over the encamped Centaurs with their bows, Beavers with their long daggers, and talking Bears with their chain-mail draped over them. He was in charge, because he was one of the mythical Sons of Adam and had declared himself High King of Narnia; but the truth was he didn't really know much about encampments, weapons, and guard patrols. In the end all he could see was that they all looked proud and confident, and Peter had to hope they were right about that; because if you couldn't believe in your own people, you couldn't believe in anyone.

"They'd scare _me_ , if I had to fight 'em," Peter said finally, "but I don't know if it's enough to beat... _her._ "

"You don't suppose this mysterious lion will actually show up and help us, d'you?" said Lucy. Her voice was very quiet, so that none of the creatures around them would hear. "Only it'd be nice to really have him, don't you think, instead of just letting people think that he put us in charge?"

Susan shook her head, shaking the magical arrows in the quiver on her back. "If there was really someone like that," Susan said, "he wouldn't have let the White Witch cover the land in winter for a hundred years, would he?"

"I had the strangest dream," Lucy said, her voice even quieter, "where we didn't have to organize any creatures or convince them to fight, we just walked into this place and the lion was already here, with all the armies already mustered, and he went and rescued Edmund, and then we rode alongside him into this tremendous battle where he killed the White Witch..."

"Did the dream have a moral?" said Peter.

"I don't know," said Lucy, blinking and looking a little puzzled. "In the dream it all seemed pointless somehow."

"I think maybe the land of Narnia was trying to tell you," said Susan, "or maybe it was just your own dreams trying to tell you, that if there was really such a person as that lion, there'd be no use for _us_."

_Refutation Break_

And let's continue this story as it would likely continue...

Happy variant, which is still truer to all 7 instead of just TLtWatW:

"Or, maybe, He has put himself under the limitation, that He will only work where they had wanted him to," whispered a voice behind them. They turned as one, and were surprised to see a huge lion right behind them.

"Aslan..."

"But, couldn't you have defeated the Witch by yourself?"

"If my only objective was to defeat a Witch who was before Narnia, but not me, who had gained power because of Narnia, Why should I have created Narnia?"

"But... the Witch is evil! Why haven't you defeated her? Why have you allowed her so much power?"

"Yes, she is evil. Yes, you could argue that I have allowed her power, by allowing the allowance of her power. Which would under most circumstances would put me as evil or at least uncaring. Or that would be if I didn't feel that I had two choices: Remove the ability to choose from Narnians, from Sons of Adam, and Daughters of Eve, and rule over a people that could never become greater than I am, because they wouldn't learn fully how, or allow said ability to choose, and allow the possibility such growth. The Witch can be defeated, by one person at a time. If everyone does defeat her, she will have no power. Because there are so many who have fallen under her influence, life is painful for all of us. But last of all, even if she wins over everyone, hers is a temporary victory. She would then have won this world, but I own the next. Even though they would then be no where near where I wanted them, they still could, and probably would be eventually more powerful than she ever was."

"Now, I seem to remember, that there were four of you, and that three of you are here to organize an army..."

Sad variant (If Aslan never helped at all...):

They went off to battle, only to see that they were outmatched. For every stout Centaur they had, the enemy had a lamia, a feral and malicious variant of centaur. For every beaver, they had a were-rat, with its fangs dripping like venom. For every bear, a rabid owlbear. The Queen had a hundred years to build her army. Peter had at best a week. Even if they had the same number of troops, which they did not, the Queen still had years to train her armies, while Peter had a ragtag group of rebels. The Queen had years to perfect her tactics and Peter knew nothing of warfare. There was no reason they could have won, and every reason they shouldn't have. So, they didn't. Perhaps, given their science and tactics books and had at least a year to prepare, they could have. But they didn't have that year, and so didn't have any chance to win this battle.

* * *

The Witch and the Wardrobe Notes: This omake was written as if only TLtWatW was applicable. The Aslan of the whole 7 series, would not let it end right there. If he did, even in TLtWatW, it was made abundantly clear that they were outmatched by the Queen and Her army. Remember, on the night Aslan died, their whole army was shown to be full of vile and monstrous beasts that were more suited to combat than talking animals, centaurs, unicorns, and naiads and dryads. Admittedly, the unicorns would provide the most protection against the most, but you still have plenty of Giants on the opposing team to neutralize those unicorns. A falling rock is not evil, and they can throw big rocks. The Queen's army has every sort of evil creature they could get their hands on.

Yes, I apologize for putting in were-rats, lamias, and owlbears, when they weren't specifically mentioned, but I am also sure the Queen had her share of corrupted originals, and these were accessible parallels.

The Aslan of the 7 was certainly powerful enough to kill the Queen, and I suspect singlehandedly, but again this plot hole is explained away by the idea that while He was and is powerful, He refused to do more than would interfere with their agency. With that in mind, He could have killed the Green Lady, He could have warned Archenland himself, or better yet, probably defeat Rabadash's whole army himself, He could have dealt with his counterfeit and his handler, the ape, and more. Every single problem that arose through the whole 7, He could have dealt with Himself.

The omake writer was right, in that if He chose, there would have been no need. And yet, time and again, He let the problem be solved by others. While this would make him evil under usual circumstances, I stand by what I had said, in that His choices seemed to be: 1. Remove their ability to grow and choose, or 2. allow bad things to happen. By allowing a child to be hurt, but not seriously hurt, we as a society call that "Acceptable Parenting." If Parents were not allowed to allow kids to get so much as a scratch, the children would never leave the ICU, their umbilical cords would never be cut, they would never get shots, they would never learn to fend for themselves, they would never learn to resist disease, and would practically be useless to society.

* * *

MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS SCIENCE

"Applejack, who told me outright that I was mistaken, represents the spirit of... _honesty!_ " Twilight Sparkle raised her head even higher, mane blowing like a wind about the dusky sky of her neck. "Fluttershy, who approached the manticore to find out about the thorn in its paw, represents the spirit of... _investigation!_ Pinkie Pie, who realized that the awful faces were just trees, represents the spirit of... _formulating alternative hypotheses!_ Rarity, who solved the serpent's problem represents the spirit of... _creativity!_ Rainbow Dash, who saw through the false offer of her heart's desire, represents the spirit of... _analysis!_ Marie-Susan, who made us convince her that we were right before she agreed to come on our expedition, represents the spirit of... _peer review!_ And when those Elements are ignited by the spark of curiosity that resides in the heart of all of us, it creates the seventh element - the Element of Sci-"

The blast of power that came forth was like a wind of moonless night, it caught Marie-Susan before the pony could even flinch, and she was gone without a trace before any of them had the chance to rear in shock.

From the dark thing that stood in the center of the dais where the Elements had shattered, from the scarce-recognizable void-black outline of a horse, came a voice that seemed to bypass all ears and burn like cold fire, sounding directly in the brain of everypony who heard:

 _Did you expect me to just stand there and let you finish?_

Twilight Sparkle stared at the space where Marie-Susan had been, where not a trace of the unicorn remained. _She - she just - she -_ In the back of her mind, unheard, she was aware that Rarity was screaming.

 _That wasn't a disintegration,_ said the voice of Nightmare. _I sent her somewhere else._

Rarity's scream stopped abruptly.

Twilight Sparkle felt like her own scream was only beginning. Seven. It took seven ponies to use the Elements of Inquiry. Everyone knew that no matter how honest, investigating, skeptical, creative, analytic, or curious you were, what really made your work Science was when you published your results in a prestigious journal. Everyone knew that. Could there be more than one Element of Peer Review at a time - how long would it take to find another one - and the Nightmare wouldn't just stand there and let them do it -

"Where?" yelled Rainbow Dash. "Where'd you put her?"

 _I put the little pony in the same place I bound my pathetic sister, in the heart of her pathetic Sun._

"She'll die!" cried Fluttershy, staring at the Nightmare in horror. "It's too hot, she'll burn!"

 _Oh, don't worry. The power of the Nightmare surrounds your little friend, keeping her safe and cool, sustaining her without food or drink. She will suffer nothing more than boredom..._

The void-black outline stepped off the dais, walking slowly, deliberately, past the remaining six ponies.

 _...so long as the Nightmare's power is not broken. By any backup plans my sister may have set in motion, for example, and which may be known to you. In that case she will vaporize instantly. Such a lovely thing, friendship. It makes such a wonderful instrument of blackmail. Be sure to keep safe the Elements of Inquiry. You wouldn't want anyone else using them on me, now would you?_

"No," whispered Twilight Sparkle, as the horror began to dawn on her.

Then a crawling sensation all over her skin, as the Nightmare walked past her, and the deadly power brushed her with its cold caress.

 _Now if you'll pardon me, my little ponies, I have an eternal night to rule over._

_Refutation Break_

And let's continue this story as it would likely continue...

And so the "eternal night" began.

And continued for a long time. None of the ponies of Science even dared to do more than nap. They were afraid that anything else done would kill Marie-Susan.

One day though, Nightmare was feeling off. It got worse over time. Finally, he went to the six ponies as they slept.

 _What DID you do to me?_

Though all six woke up, Only Applejack spoke. Honesty would be the only thing Nightmare could trust after all.

*Yawn*. "I was asleep, and so were the others. How could we have done anything to you? You still have Marie-Susan after all."

 _Well, then. I feel off, and noticed a lack of power. You know this means that eventually Marie-Susan will die, right?_

"We realize this, but when you separated us, you broke us of the Element of Science. We would dearly love to help keep Marie-Susan alive, but as you had said, without Marie-Susan for Peer Review, Science can't be made. Without Science, there is no chance that any of us, individually, could hope for a cure for you, and by extension Marie-Susan. Perhaps the religious ponies of morality somewhere else could, though. Or perhaps there are the ponies of friendship..."

 _I tried the friendship ponies, but they didn't make heads or tails of the problem. So, my three choices are die, grant you your "Science Power," or appeal to the Ponies of Religion, that hate me more than you do..._

"I promise that I personally will not try to kill you before, during, or for the foreseeable future, after we get the Element of Science. Those in favor to do the same nod your heads." the six tired ponies nodded.

 _Fine, I guess I must for now be inferior..._

Marie-Susan appeared before them.

* * *

My Little Pony: Friendship is Science Notes: In order for Nightmare to fully succeed in defeating Science, the population needs to be set at a point where it won't develop any more science.

While each of those parts individually could be suppressed, and one could go so far as to suppress all of them, so long as the population will survive, which Nightmare wanted to survive (or he would have just shipped them all to the Sun), eventually, there will come a point when even those who hate science will need to solve a problem.

If they would suppress science, or the quest for truth, likely as not, they will suppress the other ways to seek truth (like religion when pure). Corrupt religion is like corrupt science (believe it or not), just more common. When either are corrupt, they stifle morality and the other all too often.

Which leads them to choose 3 choices: the problem goes unsolved (which likely ends in their death), encourage the purity of science (which is kind of slow at dealing with problems, but has a good track record of solving problems, eventually), or encourage the purity of morality (usually the problems arise from a society also suffering from a lack of morality) and seek religion (which can solve the problem alone, but far too often still require the footwork to actually work). Options 2 and 3 are NOT mutually exclusive, believe it or not. They just seem that way, because people seem to think that when asked to remove a problem a Higher power should always remove a problem, regardless of the effort or lack of effort of the asker.

It is my personal belief that they are called 'miracles' for the simple expedient that they are beyond our perceived capabilities to do. It is currently impossible to force a seed to grow into a tree. It just chooses to, which makes things simple. You want a crop of pears, plant a pear seed, fertilize it, remove the weeds, and if you have control over irrigation, you water it. If you don't have irrigation, THEN, you pray for rain. BUT, if you pray for rain, be prepared for rain. Which means, repair your roof of your shed where you store your pears while you are praying for rain.

* * *

THUNDERSMARTS

"I am _sick_ of this!" shouted Liono. "Sick of doing this _every single week!_ Our species was capable of _interstellar travel_ , Panthro, I _know_ the quantities of energy involved! There is no _way_ you can't build a nuke or steer an asteroid or _somehow_ blow up that ever-living idiot's pyramid!"

_Refutation Break_

And let's continue this story as it would likely continue...

And so they built a superlaser. Unfortunately, Mumm-Ra learned what they were building and then asked for a spell to turn what would likely be a huge amount of energy into magical power. used that power to become Mumm-Ra the All Powerful for the next 100 years. Really, a spell to convert massive amounts of energy to magical powers? So totally worth it. It helped him with his struggle against the Thundercats immensely, and even appeased those whom he had borrowed power from.

The next few attempts were better, but also unsuccessful. He had amassed enough power to hold them off.

* * *

Thundersmarts Notes: At first glance, it seems a great idea. Unfortunately, in TV cartoons, there is a TV trope of (until otherwise) Status Quo is God. Also, magic has been known to be eerily similar to unknown science. I think the saying goes something like "Sufficient technology is indistinguishable from magic."

He clearly had enough magic to be competitive with their science (even if he eventually failed,) which when applied means that the same means they have available in technology, should be somewhere close, if above his means in magic.

A super laser should logically be in the Thundercat's power, right? Well, how do you power a superlaser? The logical answer would be a battery-like device. But the battery device stores more power than the laser uses, logically speaking.

Why couldn't Mumm-ra have noticed that they were using more power than they usually do, and asked his "tech friends" for the knowledge to use his "technology" to store such power? They were (mostly) free with his lack of efficient use of their tech, why not humor him in an investment strategy, that if worked, would repay, plus interest his loan from them? If it didn't work, it would just be one more foolish loan they had given them.

* * *

HE-MAN AND THE MASTERS OF RATIONALITY

"Fabulous secret knowledge was revealed to me on the day I held aloft my magic book and said: _By the power of Bayes's Theorem!_ "

_Refutation Break_

And let's continue this story as it would likely continue...

It is most unfortunate that Skeletor was more of a man of chaos and magic than of rational thought. It was also unfortunate that Hordak was at least part computer. When you combine the two, a man with the power of rationality, didn't stand any chance bigger than the odds of winning a trillion to one lottery twice in a row, and each time he won being struck by lightning at sea level in a one story house with a Faraday Cage, in a city where all other buildings are skyscrapers, with proper lightning rods. But it could happen...

* * *

He-Man and the Masters of Rationality Notes: Baye's Theorem requires that the probabilities have something to do with the results. For a sufficiently advanced computer with a real randomizer (not the pretend version of solving an extremely complex equation and return the result,) an event and its probabilities and a probability of a second event could be sufficiently varying enough to cause one to fail to misread the correlation between the two. Repeated errors of magnitude, means that long before He-Man could even begin to compete, he would be soundly defeated to the extent that he would not even begin to compete.

* * *

THE NAME OF THE RATIONALITY

The eleven-year-old boy who would someday become legend - slayer of dragons, killer of kings - had but one thought upon his mind, as he approached the Sorting Hat to enter into the study of mysteries.

 _Anywhere but Ravenclaw anywhere but Ravenclaw oh please anywhere but Ravenclaw..._

But no sooner the brim of the ancient felted device slipped over his forehead -

"RAVENCLAW!"

As the table decked in blue began to applaud him, as he approached the dread table where he would spend the next seven years, Kvothe was already wincing inside, waiting for the inevitable; and the inevitable happened almost at once, exactly as he had feared it, before he'd even had a chance to sit down properly.

"So!" an older boy said with the happy expression of someone who's thought of something terribly clever. "Kvothe the Raven, huh?"

_Refutation Break_

And let's continue this story as it would likely continue...

Sad variant:

"Nevermore!"

A cloaked figure left a dead, ruined Hogwarts.

Happy variant:

It took a year, but the name was finally discouraged. Now, if he could just find the time to legally change his name between school years.

* * *

The Name of Rationality Notes: A Ravenclaw being teased mercilessly could very well become psychotic. If he did, He would likely leave a high body count behind him.

On the other hand, so much happens at Hogwarts, that a nickname could easily be replaced within the year. Or he could finally get used to it. Either way, while it would be painful, life would go on.

* * *

UTILITARIAN TWILIGHT

 _(Note: Written after I heard Alicorn was writing a Twilight fanfic, but before I read _Luminosity_. It's obvious if you're one of us.)_

"Edward," said Isabella tenderly. She reached up a hand and stroked his cold, sparkling cheek. "You don't have to protect me from anything. I've listed out all the upsides and all the downsides, assigned them consistent relative weights, and it's just really obvious that the benefits of becoming a vampire outweigh the drawbacks."

"Bella," Edward said, and swallowed desperately. "Bella -"

"Immortality. Perfect health. Awakening psychic powers. Easy enough to survive on animal blood once you do it. Even the beauty, Edward, there are people who would give their lives to be pretty, and don't you dare call them shallow until you've tried being ugly. Do you think I'm scared of the word 'vampire'? I'm tired of your arbitrary deontological constraints, Edward. The whole human species ought to be in on your fun, and people are dying by the thousands even as you hesitate."

The gun in his lover's hand was cold against his forehead. It wouldn't kill him, but it would disable him for long enough -

_Refutation Break_

And let's continue this story as it would likely continue...

Hundreds of years later

And so the Human race was for the most part changed into Fae that called themselves "Vampires". The remaining few were terrified for their ability to imagine, and making stories. That seemed to be the only thing they had going for them. But since it meant that the longer this struggle went, the better off (for the most part) they were, discounting those who fell prey to the benefits of these Fae, they struggled to keep humanity's benefits. So, while they were just trying to get through the day in a world no longer owned by them, the rest of the population's research and development speed started slowing down. Humanity might never recover from the blow it was given.

And then the animals started dying off...

* * *

Utilitarian Twilight Notes: Sparkly immortal beings that seem forever beautiful, and just seem better than humans? I am sorry. That is not Vampire (even if they and everyone else calls them that because they drink blood and turn others via bite.) That is Fae, Fairy, the Fair Folk, etc. I would also suggest Unseelie- but I am not sure.

Furthermore, they have a Fair Folk court, not a Vampire one.

Fae have their own rules. Those rules change depending on whom you talk to. Now, usually the are weak to cold-iron, but I saw no such problems here, so humans don't have that advantage. I seem to remember that they seem superior to humans, because they ARE superior to humans. Often enough, the three things Fae usually are deficient, are religion, cold-iron, and imagination.

Extremely often, Fae would kidnap those superior to them in music, who wander into their domain to force them to play. Why? Because, though the Fae could play an instrument better than anyone, they fail again and again in creativity, imagination, improvisation.

However, imagination is also something required by science, though you may not realize it. If humans did not imagine flying, no gliders would have been attempted. Furthermore, without seeing a black hole (which we could not truly prove they exist until recently because it EATS LIGHT), why ever would we think that they could exist? The same applies to Atoms, Quarks, Strings (or not, you decide), Quantum Foam, Supernovas, Disease, etc. You know, I think, but am not sure that every scientific principle, even the method was hammered out with a good amount of Imagination.

Now, apply that to the majority of scientists and make them immortal, but no imagination...

You had implied that Bella would be prolific, almost non-discriminatory in her bites.

Diseases appear all the time. To find and cure them require the sciences involved with medicine. I am sorry, but your chance of success dropped dramatically...

* * *

JASMINE AND THE LAMP

Aladdin's face was wistful, but determined, as the newly minted street urchin addressed the blue being of cosmic power for one last time, prepared to leave behind the wealth and hope he had so briefly tasted for the sake of his friend. "Genie, I make my third wish. I wish for you to be -"

Princess Jasmine, who had been staring at this with her mouth open, not quite believing what she was seeing, just barely managed to overcome her paralysis and yank the lamp out of the boy's hand before he could finish the fatal sentence.

"Excuse me," said Jasmine. "Aladdin, my darling, you're cute but you're an idiot, do you know that? Did you not notice how once Jafar got his hands on this lamp, he got his own three wishes - oh, never mind. Genie, I wish for everyone to always be young and healthy, I wish nobody ever had to die if they didn't want to, and I wish for everyone's intelligence to gradually increase at a rate of 1 IQ point per year." She tossed the lamp back to Aladdin. "Go back to what you were doing."

_Refutation Break_

And let's continue this story as it would likely continue...

First off, I am assuming that the genie has no reason to want these wishes to go , I will show possible interpretations and their results. However, I notice several key words that need to be defined, which are: "young, healthy, 'had to', want, gradually, and IQ"

The first question is who defines these? She rattled them off and allowed no time for clarification questions. Likely as not, then Aladdin frees the genie, which meant that he was no longer in a position to ask. In almost every game I have played where a Wish was granted, the interpretation of the Wish was given to the granter, or DM if the granter was a NPC.

Likely as not, this meant that the genie, who was shown not to be a telepath, much less omniscient, had to make do with his own ideas. When someone says healthy, most people first think of physical health. Which means the genie had a good chance of only affecting physical health, leaving the emotional, psychological, financial, etc "health's" untouched. I am sorry, but it is too common to be ignored.

Also, since he is a relatively nice genie who had no reason to hate Jasmine, there should have been little reason to make any of the wishes contradictory.

Common probable effects throughout the variants:

They never leave or enter puberty as "young" could easily be interpreted as "pre-adult", which means that they never have and never will fully develop.

The next generation never arrives, by some definitions of "young", they aren't capable, and "healthy" they are sick. It is called "Morning sickness", sickness is opposite of "health," QED, Quinn Eats Dirt (Sorry, Vorkosigan universe reference, but I am not sure if it was fanfiction).

1:Remove the ability to wish you or others harm and make them immortal, young, and physically healthy. On a specific day of each year (probably the day of the wish), everyone gains 1 IQ point of their choice.

This is probably what Jasmine wanted anyways, right?

Except, Criminals also get this... which means they will eventually be smart enough to think of convince themselves that they don't want others to be harmed, they are just 'helping', by inflicting (probably psychological and emotional) pain on them.

Which would eventually lead to a one-sided battle. Those that are Good don't want to hurt those that are Bad, but they don't want to follow them down that road to insanity. Which means that though neither side dies, the Bad side starts to become more and more populated. After all, even with this wish it is still easier to cause insanity than to repair it.

1a: Genie includes all variants of "Healthy" in this variant of Strain 1. Which means that although we are "healthy", how we look, how we think, even how we act, is in genie's hands. (And let us remember, that the genie, while a nice guy, has his quirks.) Basically, we all become flesh robots. Rich robots, friendly robots, maybe even religious robots, but we cannot go against our programming. Because Robots cannot have individuality, imagination, randomness, or unpredictability (as long as you know how they think).

For those who think we are somebody's flesh robots anyway, If said creator wanted all of us to be evil, why are so many of us good? And vice versa. There are too many degrees and variants of health, upbringing, psychological state of mind, and so forth to imply we don't have the freedom to choose our choices (if not the consequences of said choices). For those that would reject Theism, which may or may not be of a being who had made things of insane complexity and simplicity, I merely offer that the Genie, at best, is still an imitator of other creators. I grant that he is intelligent, but not omniscient and creative, but I don't remember an instance where he was original. Why ever should an imitator of a creator be better than the 'original creator'? The hypothetical original creator seems to have too many flaws as is for those that don't believe he/she/they/it exists, but at least we are allowed to choose not to believe they exist. Which is an argument to say, that if the 'original creator' exists (which, though I have no evidence admissible in court, I choose to believe,) we are allowed to choose for ourself. I personally don't thhink the Genie would allow such a thing. Whenever did he allow it in the first place?

2: Remove the ability to wish you or others harm and make them young, physically healthy, and unchanging (except for an increase in IQ each year).

This means that progress in science is halted. Why? Because increasing memory would be change. unfortunately, this also means that laws don't work, because criminals don't learn.

2a: Genie includes all variants of "Healthy" in this variant of Strain 2. Again flesh robots. Hmmm. I am starting to see a pattern here. Either we lose the ability to choose our actions, and/or the inherent flaws in our current system are still available enough to threaten with high probability to change this Utopia into a Dystopia.

3: The second wish is out of the genie's power. It still is granted (or not, but he still tried to grant it), but does nothing. They didn't have to die, but they still do. Basically, the world continues as it has, just that we are a little smarter each year (those of us that are still alive), the next generation may never arrive, but we are never physically sick, and we forever are under the age of an adult (or more).

3a: We are Flesh robots for one generation. then we slowly die off...

4: Hmmmm. Some of those TV cartoons never seem to die... They never seem to change their age... Why don't I make everyone a cartoon character? Even if the TV turns off, they never died, or I don't think they did... Yes, I could do that. Since IQ is so hard to quantify, just have them pull out more and more complex gadgets, shenanigans, and schemes each year...

Cue the music for "...The Pinky and the Brain, the Pinky and the Brain. One is a genius the other is insane..." One is getting by (kind of) in a cartoon world. The other is trying to develop science... TV cartoons are infamous for never really learning or progressing. Oh, Wile. E Coyote comes up with a new plan each day. But, if by some fluke the Roadrunner is caught, he never stays caught long enough to be eaten. Phineas and Ferb do something new each day, Doofenshmirtz comes up with a new scheme which in the completion, or ensuing combat, or destruction hides said new thing from Mom, Candice goes more and more crazy. But they can be relied upon to stick to the routine. Forever. I hope you like what you were doing, cause you will be counted on to repeat variants of it forever... or at least while the TV is on anyways... and then you better hope you exist while the TV is off...

* * *

Jasmine and the Lamp Notes:

First off, this writer may have written a "smart" Jasmine (In DnD, we would call that a "High Intelligence",) but they had inadvertently written her to become a foolish Jasmine (In DnD, this is called, "Low Wisdom.") They then gave her a Genie with 3 wishes. Her wishes show that she is wanting humanity to become better, but incredibly naive in trying to put said intelligence to use.

I wonder if said writer had ever been given a wish that was corrupted. But, I digress, and do apologize for thinking ill of the writer, and so write as if they had forgotten that the phrase, "Be careful what you wish for," was not because you wouldn't get it, but because you might.

In so many DnD sessions, the DM does NOT hand out wishes. Why? Because the players usually ask for the most unbalanced things. Like a Mountain of Gold. See TV Tropes "Exact Words." The smarter ones still ask for unbalanced things, but they are careful enough that they won't "Exactly Wrong." Which can lead to DM vs. Rules Lawyer, which escalates into paid contract lawyers on both sides.

* * *

WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

(thanks to **dsummerstay** for reminding me to post this one)

MORPHEUS: For the longest time, I wouldn't believe it. But then I saw the fields with my own eyes, watched them liquefy the dead so they could be fed intravenously to the living -

NEO _(politely)_ : Excuse me, please.

MORPHEUS: Yes, Neo?

NEO: I've kept quiet for as long as I could, but I feel a certain need to speak up at this point. The human body is the most inefficient source of energy you could possibly imagine. The efficiency of a power plant at converting thermal energy into electricity _decreases_ as you run the turbines at lower temperatures. If you had any sort of food humans could eat, it would be more efficient to burn it in a furnace than feed it to humans. And now you're telling me that their food is _the bodies of the dead, fed to the living?_ Haven't you ever heard of the laws of thermodynamics?

MORPHEUS: Where did _you_ hear about the laws of thermodynamics, Neo?

NEO: Anyone who's made it past one science class in high school ought to know about the laws of thermodynamics!

MORPHEUS: Where did you go to high school, Neo?

(Pause.)

NEO: ...in the Matrix.

MORPHEUS: The machines tell elegant lies.

(Pause.)

NEO _(in a small voice)_ : Could I please have a real physics textbook?

MORPHEUS: There is no such thing, Neo. The universe doesn't run on math."

_Refutation Break_

(Pause.)

NEO: You know, I really believed that the science was real.

(Pause.)

NEO: Just like you. But if the science is in question because it came from the Matrix... Why should you be real too? I seem to remember seeing you in the Matrix. If the Matrix was good enough in its lies to spin a plausible science theory, which begs the question of the reality of any science, why should you be real too? In a world of liars, you have to verify ALL information. Which, unfortunately, would mean that I would have trouble believing you. I am not even sure that I exist, given all of this. Give me about a hundred years to come up with my own science base, and then I could hope to believe you. And even then... Why don't you get someone less grounded in the idea that science explains everything around us. They might believe you sooner, and would be helpful in producing evidence for your claims. I still probably won't believe you, but at least you would have the help you want.

* * *

Welcome to the Real World Notes:

When you are no longer sure that 2+2=4, trust issues grow like weeds. Because of this, if you are recruiting, if you start saying that someone you trust is lying, it may unfortunately open up the idea that you are also lying. Be especially careful if you are trying to disabuse them of how they think the world runs.

* * *

If you think I should add more variants of endings, or perhaps have short Omakes endings to, review or PM. No 'M' Omakes will be accepted. Also make sure to give the credit where it is due, like the owner of where you found your Omakes. I take no responsibility for starting a Flame War. Also, I said SHORT. Reviewing the Full "Methods of Rationality" by Less Wrong for alternative endings would take centuries, and even then.


End file.
